In the spirit of this Month’s Manner “Dudes with Decorum” I bring you some tales from the trenches. And by trenches I mean elementary school cafeterias and Fraternity houses. Over the years I’ve come to learn that there is a misconception that boys/men don’t care for etiquette the way girls do.
BEEEEEEP! What’s that? Why that’s my Gracious Living game show buzzer.
Or another way of saying, I strongly disagree. I actually find boys and young men to be VERY receptive to the information–that is when it’s presented in a way that engages them. Yes, fifth grade boys will still ask “What If” questions like, “So, What if a man doesn’t have any legs, then does he have to stand for an introduction?” and you do have to be careful not to explain how to seat a woman in a chair, to a room of 5o fraternity men, by saying, “You slide it in and then she will take it from there…” WHAT? Did I really say that? Yes. Way back when, I unintentionally described “pushing in a chair” THAT way. Needless to say, I quickly brought the topic back above the waste line–not without several glazed over eyes, and a lot of lower octive laughing– and moved on to less risky topics. Like, eer, the napkin.
No, but really. I beg you! Don’t give up on the dudes small and tall in your life! And most importantly, please don’t be afraid to make manners fun - even if it means going a little Arsenio Hall fist pump on them… Who’s Arsenio? Oh you sweet young thing… here you go!
And if you don’t believe me that dudes will engage and learn from manners? Well, then, take it from them…
Email: XXXXX@XXX.com
Question:
Dear Mindy,
My name is XXXX XXXXX and I am the new Member Education Chairman of XX XXX XX Fraternity at the University of XXXXX. One of the best educational pieces that I can recall during my sophomore year occured when I had the privilege of attending your lesson on etiquette.
I was hoping to have you come back to our chapter once again in the future.
You can contact me by e-mail at…
Best,
XXXX XXXXXX
This isn’t in any way a post to say, “They like me, they really like me!” but to say “They like manners, they actually really like manners! So GO team, let’s get our arms out for a little WOO! WOO! WOO!
Oh and we’d love to have you join in the fun with February’s Manner!
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As a mother a boy I am hopeful to instill graciousness in even him! My husband is such a gentlemen that I hope my son carries on as his father does. What lady doesn’t love a gentleman? Glad for this post! Thank you!
Thank you! I’m so thankful that Elle and Maggie have a gentleman in their dad to look up to! It’s really important. It’s never too early to start! Thank you for your comment and stopping by!
You are so right Mindy…my boys want to know how to be cool in important situations…they don’t want to look foolish anymore than girls do. It is ALL in the presentation! Thanks for helping to provide that for them!
I’m dying laughing at much of this post, but especially Kyle’s note… “I barely knew this stuff before you came.” So funny.
I love my job because I get to share in the very funny things that children say! Keeps me young and smiling!
Mindy, this was one of your funniest posts ever! But seriously, I am a stickler at home with both my kids about manners (specially at the table) but I have been “reminding” my son, now 11 going on 32, how to be a gentleman. I do get the occasional “Mom, that’s so sexist, if we’re equal, why do I have to hold the door for my sister & she doesn’t have to hold it for me?” I try to explain there is a difference between men & women being equal and being polite and a gentleman. I hope if I keep explaining it and repeating it, it will stick and he’ll thank me when he really starts dating. (ohh, just scared myself with that thought).
Thanks for sharing, as always, walked away a little more gracious thanks to your insights.
This Dude really enjoyed it!
Mrs. L,
Keep it up!!! I loved the one that said, “Sprout like this…. ”
XOXO,
Lizzie
Lizzie that was my favorite too! So funny.