As an etiquette consultant and mother of two little girls I have a lot of information running around in my head. I know all about introductions, opeing doors and table settings. I’m also quite savvy when it comes to practicing tough love on Polly Pocket and her entourage, and that the color pale pink and dark pink are actually two different colors when claiming a favorite color. What I don’t know is life with boys–outside of the big boy that lives with us (wink)! Which is why I love what Meredith Sinclair, ManneroftheMonth.com’s guest columnist from our February/March issue: Dudes with Decorum, had to say!
Meredith provides so many insights to why and how she approaches life and manners with her boys. I love how her honesty helps bring out the actual ‘How To” manners in the issue! This information is too good not to share! I just know that if you’re a mom of boys and/or girls you will appreciate Meredith as much as we do (or dude)! Take it away Meredith!
All of my life, I’ve lived with boys. I have two older brothers that throughout childhood were my personal trainers when it came to the ins and outs of the male species. They made sure I knew how to throw a mean spiral, spit off of a tall building with such perfect aim that it would hit a tiny car below, and how to make a super fantastic under-arm flatulence sound at a very early age.
I had no idea that during all of this, I was being groomed for motherhood. I was destined to be the mom of boys. I now live with two boys and a 42-going-on-12 –year-old and well let’s just say, I’m really glad I was heavily schooled in the arithmetic of men.
Ya see, I totally “get” how unbearably gut-busting they find bathroom humor and the word butt, the fact that they are genetically wired to wrestle each other to the ground, and the undisputable fact that boys will always choose dirt over soap and water. Always.
And while I find a good burp supremely funny now and again, I’m also charged with teaching these little men some manners, chivalry, decorum and respect.
I figure I owe it to the two unsuspecting little girls who will one day grow up and fall in love with them. And I owe it to them. Don’t get me wrong, my boys are not ill-mannered, dirty little heathens. Not at all. In fact other moms have told me time and again how polite and charming they are when I’m not around. But this task of raising respectful boys is a daily and often minute by minute endeavor.
Over the last twelve years I’ve learned not to take their rude outbursts and immature behavior personally, that sometimes the rules just need to be blown up, and that if as the grown-ups we can keep the big, long-term picture in full view, we won’t want to rip our hair out every time they make an inappropriate bodily noise at dinner. Boys will be boys. Boys won’t be girls. But armed with a few simple rules of the well-mannered road, at least they won’t embarrass us in public.
I love St. Patrick’s Day for many reasons! One, it’s the day before my birthday. Two, I love any reason to wear Kate Spade green–although that has yet to make it into the Crayola box of a bazillion colors, you know the magnificent shade. Three, I like feeling lucky…not to be confused with getting lucky, which isn’t appropriate for this post, or really any post as it falls under my umbrella of the five “general conversation” taboo topics… back to luck!
Although friendships aren’t built on luck, we sure feel lucky to have some special people in our lives! So with St. Paddy’s Day just around the corner, we’re taking this golden opportunity to say “Thank You” to our teachers and friends with our traditional Pots o’ Gratitude.
What’s a Pot o’ Gratitude?Why it’s what we find at the end of the friendship rainbow, of course.Aside from a leprechaun (or small child) here’s what you’ll need…
It may come as no surprise to you, that we have a bit of an addiction to personalization. We, and by we I mean me, like to add a little personalization here, there and everywhere around Casa de Lockard…
from our stationery
to where the girls lay their heads at night
on our totes for the pool
and carring our books back to school.
On occasion I’ve been known to take this love to the griddle. This personal touch was something special my dad did for me on Saturday mornings during my childhood. Let’s just say I didn’t get my dad’s steady hand as he could do this with a spoon. So, for my personalized pancakes I need to solicit the help of one of my favorite kitchen accessories. Enter a little treasure I picked it up at Bed Bath and Beyond for a few dollars and snipped off the top for the ease of writing.
Step one
Make your favorite batter from scratch. After all, why spend all of this time personalizing pancakes for your loved ones and then fill them with ingredients you can’t pronounce or don’t know where they came from?
Step Two
Fill the pancake personalizer (you may remember his cousin that we use for sour cream), squeeze, and watch him go to work on the griddle.
There is a slight chance that I’ve entertained the idea of sending Elle and Maggie with a pancake monogram pinned to their school jumper. Hey, in this economy we have to find ways to cut back, no?
Step three…
You can make letters or write words–remember to write the words and letters backwards, unless your name is ELLE or should you have Oprah to breakfast you can fall back on the HARPO excuse. If you are looking to turn your message into a pancake, just write the message and then spoon batter over the wor(s) and flip once bubbles form.
This personalization is perfect for breakfast or one of our family favorites, breakfast for dinner.
Enjoy your personalized pancakes. Your friends and family will for sure!
“So you’re an etiquette consultant?” a man from the class of 1960 said to me at the Alumni Award’s Gala.
“Yes, I am!” I said with a smile.
“Well then” he said very proud, “I have a riddle for you…”
“A riddle? Okay.” I said, smile perhaps not as smiley
“Well it’s more of a story problem.” he said
Story problem? As in a math problem? Suddenly I was transported to my ninth grade Algebra class, and this charming and very excited man from the class of 1960, became Mr. K. my teacher who stood eye to eye with me at 5 feet 4 inches — that is with his ’80s style Hush Puppies on. Let’s just say, Mindy Knight wasn’t in the running for student of the year.
“Here’s the problem…” said Mr. Class of 1960, phew back to the ballroom in the nick of time, “I was in the military in the 60s, and one time I was in charge of a dinner. Are you with me?” he paused, I nodded, ”The people who were supposed to sit at the head table were: the Colonel and his wife, Lieutenant Colonel and his wife, Me and my wife at the time, not her–as he pointed to his current wife just a few feet away. Lowering his tone–let me tell you she was a real looker, AND a general and his wife.”
I was tracking, a little uncomfortable due to the wife situation, but tracking…
“So the night before the dinner, the Colonel called and said his wife couldn’t come. SHE WASN’T going to be there! Can you believe it?”
Oh, I see. This was turning into a seating riddle. Now if you aren’t familiar with formal military protocol it may not seem like a big deal. There is traditional protocol for seating and it is a big deal. Especially in 1960.
“So what was I supposed to do?” he asked with great enthusiasm. Now here is where it gets tricky. I’m visual and had I known I was going to need a white board, dry erase marker and my Protocol for a Modern Diplomat book, I would have packed a larger handbag. But I didn’t–I even glanced to my chair to make sure. Nope, just my trusty black clutch.
So I took what I know, and asked a question with a question…
“Oh dear! Since you can’t seat couples next to each other and you have to alternate genders, what would did you do?”
Luckily, he loved the question and went on to tell me more about how that night the Protocol Officer disappeared. Honestly, I never actually found out what he did. But I did a lot of listening. And he was quite happy. Riddle averted, and man from 1960 had the chance to relive the glory days with his “real looker of a wife, number one” and the night he saved the military dinner.
Sometimes people just want to share and not have us solve any riddles. And that my friends, is okay too!
A few thoughts for a twitter partay, and as you can see they are not so different from any other party manner! Oh and please excuse my squeaky voice and constant bouncing up and down. I guess I’m just a little excited (wink!)
For more deets on the party see below! See you at the PARTAY #Ooscarspecial!
I’m a girl who loves a great party! Yes it’s true, and I have a pair of children’s roller skates to prove it. A gift given to me by the class of ‘93 (go easy on the math) when they voted me class Social Butterfly!
Parties are a big part of Gracious Living and tonight I take my love of entertaining to the virtual world where I will co-host a twitter Partay, during Oprah’s Oscar Special (ABC 10/9CST), with one of my favorite tweeps @Hoo_dee_Hoo (In the carpool line, Meredith Sinclair). For me and Meredtih, this is our first time hosting a Twitter party and we’re loving the planning process!
The Oprah Store has generously offered to give these adorable jammies to the winner of the Oscar Special Fashion Award for Best Jammies . Yes, we’re asking you to take a quick pic. of you watching the show in your favorite jammies (twitpic is great) and send it to @monthlymanner, @hoo_dee_hoo or using party #Ooscarspecial.
Aside from the fun Oprah Store giveaway, we will also be joined by some fun and funny Harponians, two of the special’s producers Jon Sinclair and Sheri Salata, who will be sharing cool behind the scene tweets about the filming of the special!
So pour yourself a glass of vino, slip into your jammies (take a pic) and join us in the twitterverse for sO (get it O) much fun!
Here’s how it’s going down…
Time: Tune it on ABC and Twitter At 10 P.M. EST/9 PM CT (if you’re local Eugene, swing by Taylor’s Bar and Grille where we will be watching it at 7:00 PST… come ready to tweet!)
How: login to your twitter account. We will be streaming under the hashtag #Ooscarspecial!
What’s a twitter stream? I’ll do my best to explain… When you tweet you use the #Ooscarspecialhashtag. See how I put it in my tweet below? The tweet being the white box under “What’s happening?”
To join the party and read all of the tweets, click on the #Ooscarspecial hashtag. See it where the arrow is?
That will take you to the party, or the page where it’s all going down. See the hashtags? This is how you know you’ve arrived at the party!
If you swing by the party, please say “hi!” we would love to know you’re there! I totally understand the whole wall flower thing, but really jump in and join in the fun! And, if you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask!
So my boyfriend is coming to town (well not to my town) on Sunday and I can hardly wait. I call him Tall, Gold, and Handsome. You may know him by is given name, Oscar.
We kick off the award week tomorrow night with Oprah’s Oscar Special where we are co-hosting a twitter party with Hoo-dee-Hoo, and will be joined by Harpo Producer, Jon Sinclair, for a behind the scenes look at the special. Join us 9 PM Central Time or 10 Eastern Standard Time for the fun party. Your invitation to the event is #Ooscarspecial! We look forward to seeing you there!
Then on Sunday our family will enjoy dinner and a lot of movie awards! Traditional Academy Award’s cuisine calls for the “finer” things such as caviar, champagne and a beautifully cut filet. At our house, we take the finer tradition and make it a bit more down home, with a great cut of beef slow cooked to make a fantastic French Dip with a kickin’ horseradish twist!
Before Church or your Sunday morning festivities put the following in your slow cooker…
4 pounds all natural Chuck Roast
4 cups organic beef stock
2 onions sliced thin
4 cloves of garlic pressed
1/4 cup vinegar
1/2 beer
4 TBS Steak Seasoning (Montreal Seasoning)
And cook on high for 6 to 8 hours.
An hour before Take the meat out of the slow cooker and set it aside. Carefully strain the juice from the slow cooker into a pot so to remove small pieces of meat and onion. Let the juice simmer for about 30 minutes on the stove top. Season with salt, pepper and or Montreal Seasoning.
With gloves on, shred the meat separating the good meat from the fat. Transfer the meat with a cup of juice back to the slowcooker . This will keep your sandwich from being too dry.
While the meat is stewing in the sauce make the horseradish mayo:
·2 Tablespoons grated horseradish
·1/4 cup mayo
·1/4 cup non fat Greek yogurt
·1 clove of garlic pressed
·Juice from 1/2 lemon
·4 - 6 drops of hot sauce
Assemble the sandwich start by toasting a fresh roll, spread on the kickin’ mayo, with tongs add the yummy beef and
Dip
Dip
In the juice that was simmering on the stove top. Enjoy! Happy Oscar Night everyone, enjoy every golden moment.
In three weeks my wonderfully adventurous friend Lizzie and I will set off for a 2000 mile road trip, there and back, to sunny Southern California.
I can almost feel the California sunshine,
taste an afternoon–I mean five-o-clock–cocktail and…
hear the howl of the Santa Ana winds.
Oh, wait. I thought that sound was all too familiar–that’s not a coastal wind–that’s the howling sound of our collective five children from the back seat of the S.U.V…
Because you guessed it. They are coming too.
This little adventure is going to be like Thelma and Louise with children. Well, sans the whole driving off the cliff thing (let’s hope) and the tryst with a rugged, very fit, Brad Pitt aka J.D.–Oh dear, did the pang of disappointment come through? No? Nevermind.
Anyway, the Lockard ladies are going to be brushing up on our trip manners so that I don’t have to ask my dear friend Lizzie sign a pre-tripial agreement. You know, the agreement where she promises to be my friend after the trip despite emotional outbursts from the Lockard ladies–I mean Elle and Maggie–excessive talking about Barbie Diamond Castle or in the unfortunate case that we encounter the perfect storm: me in the morning, miles of empty highway, and no a Starbucks in sight.
Travel sometimes brings out the best and the worst in us, and figuring out those trip manners is very important–yes that means packing Starbuck’s VIA. Every year, March’s ManneroftheMonth.com (available 3/15) covers travel etiquettes and the simple ways to make the most of getaways. Perfect time for our family, and I’m pretty sure, Lizzieand her entouragewill be most thankful! So will you help me with this manner and take a quick moment to fill out the following…
In the spirit of this Month’s Manner “Dudes with Decorum” I bring you some tales from the trenches. And by trenches I mean elementary school cafeterias and Fraternity houses. Over the years I’ve come to learn that there is a misconception that boys/men don’t care for etiquette the way girls do.
BEEEEEEP! What’s that? Why that’s my Gracious Living game show buzzer.
Or another way of saying, I strongly disagree. I actually find boys and young men to be VERY receptive to the information–that is when it’s presented in a way that engages them. Yes, fifth grade boys will still ask “What If” questions like, “So, What if a man doesn’t have any legs, then does he have to stand for an introduction?” and you do have to be careful not to explain how to seat a woman in a chair, to a room of 5o fraternity men, by saying, “You slide it in and then she will take it from there…” WHAT? Did I really say that? Yes. Way back when, I unintentionally described “pushing in a chair” THAT way. Needless to say, I quickly brought the topic back above the waste line–not without several glazed over eyes, and a lot of lower octive laughing– and moved on to less risky topics. Like, eer, the napkin.
No, but really. I beg you! Don’t give up on the dudes small and tall in your life! And most importantly, please don’t be afraid to make manners fun - even if it means going a little Arsenio Hall fist pump on them… Who’s Arsenio? Oh you sweet young thing… here you go!
And if you don’t believe me that dudes will engage and learn from manners? Well, then, take it from them…
From a University Student. Name and details not important.
My name is XXXX XXXXX and I am the new Member Education Chairman of XX XXX XX Fraternity at the University of XXXXX. One of the best educational pieces that I can recall during my sophomore year occured when I had the privilege of attending your lesson on etiquette.
I was hoping to have you come back to our chapter once again in the future.
You can contact me by e-mail at…
Best,
XXXX XXXXXX
This isn’t in any way a post to say, “They like me, they really like me!” but to say “They like manners, they actually really like manners! So GO team, let’s get our arms out for a little WOO! WOO! WOO!
Oh and we’d love to have you join in the fun with February’s Manner!
Lately there has been a common theme with many of my clients: dealing with situations where they have been offended. In my programs and one-on-one instruction we have worked very hard to find the manners to approach those who have wronged them and delve into building self confidence to rise above the noise of repeated unkind (or what I call unhappy) behavior.
With this on my mind, you can imagine how my ears perked up Sunday when our church sermon was on the word Magnanimous. Magnanimous–not to be confused with another important (at least in our house) word Monogamous–was defined by our pastor as the power of the rising above pettiness, living noble in mind and spirit, and being generous in offense.
What a gracious word. Not to mention, I like how it rolls off the toungue Mag-na-ni-mous! Just imagine how beautiful the world would be if we all lived with a spirit of abounding grace and generosity of mind? Although the journey to Magnanimous isn’t easy, once we arrive it’s a wonderful place to be. I’m heading there. Can I swing by and pick you up?
